My boobs are gone. My thighs have cottage cheese markings. My stretch marks are even more apparent then ever before. I haven't got around to training for the marathon (which has been a dream of mine for the past 3 years!) The house is a mess. Talon may or may not have just said a naughty word... Tres is now addicted to his bink. I'm behind on our savings plan. I'm usually a day or two behind on paying our bills. I just barely got us caught up on debt... And I spent another hundred at Walmart last night. I beat myself up every night for the bad. I have anxiety about the bad. And I wonder a LOT why I continue to allow the bad to exist!
The worst part: I know it is all my choice. I beat myself up repeatidly because I decided to get behind on house work, bills, running... I know it could all be so much better! And that is the most frustrating thing in the world!
The good: My husband
That hottie! He says he loves my little boobs (he may be lying but he is good at making me believe him). He is blind when it comes to cottage cheese and stretch marks. I've been workin out with my favorite youtube trainer for the past 3 weeks! Our house is really coming together decoration wise. It's more homey then ever. Although the house is a mess I am much more organized then I have ever been and actually have been doing the dishes every night! But that doesn't mean the laundry is done... Talon and Tres are now sleeping in their own beds... Most nights... And Talon likes to climb in bed with me around 5ish every morning. I'm quite the little cook (rappers say you have to be confident, so this is my new strategy-confidence!:) I'm more comfortable in my own skin then I have ever been. I've spent more time with Talon in these past 5 months then I think I did in the 3 years before the deployment put together. Staying home with the boys has been life changing for me! I now know what I was born to be (their Mommy)! The best part: After having a long talk about all the bad with my hubs this morning I realized regardless if things are perfect when he gets home or not-he loves me and he will ALWAYS love me.
his arms are the most comfortable place in the world to me!
The most best beyond bestest part: Being loved this much is by far the most BESTEST most TINGLY most WONDERFUL most EXTRAORDINARILY FABULOUS part.
1 comment:
i think your amazing...and i think your doing great;) seriously, i dont know how you do it, especially with kids. i cant even do everything with just taking care of myself!
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