Here's to us!

This has been one challenging year... BUT I'd honestly have to say it has been the best year of my life! I've learned a LOT! I married the man of my dreams, gave life to our angel #2, I found the McKenna I've been longing to find, and I said "see ya soon" to the man of my dreams as he walked off into the sunrise to fight a battle thousands of miles away from his new family. Lifes been good & hard this past year and I thought, what better time then now to blog about it? It's all coming to a end, but it's the best new beginning I ever could have imagined...

As you all know my hubs is far far away off fighting for our country in Afghanistan. Since he left I've been on a whirlwind of emotion. I couldn't be happier that I FINALLY met the man of my dreams, and I also couldn't be more upset that he was one called to fight. I've definetly got some mixed emotions going on. I'm so proud of him. He is the most beautiful man inside and out to me!

Nearly 12 months ago I peed on a stick... I never in a million years thought that one little plus sign would so drastically change my life for the better. At that moment in time it felt more like a minus sign in my mind then a plus. I sat on the bathroom floor nearly in tears when PJ came to my side to assure me everything would be ok. Soon after that pregnacy test I came to the realization that ever since the day Talon was born my life has been changed for the better, so I knew that this would be a rough 9 months where I'd be unsure of our future but I just knew whatever was to come of PJ and I, another blessing from God couldn't hurt. PJ and I quickly grew closer over those next few months... It was almost like God had slapped me in the face with Tres' lil hand. I knew PJ loved me at the time, I was just too scared to realize how in love I was with him. Tres' backhand did the trick! Peej and I were already inseperable, but now I knew I was madly in love with him.

One busy day sometime in June I came home to find my then boyfriend crouched up sitting on our bedroom floor talking to someone on the phone, my heart sunk, I just knew... Later that night as my love and I lay in bed our eyes swelling with tears he asked me to marry him. With tears in my eyes I said YES! And just one month later we were married! In our last months together before he was deployed, we made life the best we could. We focused on our time together and not the moments apart. He was often in Cali training to leave. It was a hard time, and there were definetly tears, but we focused on our love to get us through.

Come September it was Tres' time to enter our world. PJ was in 29 palms just trying his hardest to focus on his training. While lying there in that hospital bed I found that this was the hardest battle I had fought all year, and I just knew it was because my husband wasn't there to help me fight this one. Laying there thinking of what would be different if he was there was like torture! His hand in mine, his words of comfort, his smiling face (he was so excited to be a Daddy!)... So, I tried my hardest not to think. THANKFULLY he was allowed to call me for the first time that month when I found out I was going into labor. Once I was ready to start pushing, he was able to listen... Between each breath I listened to my love cry. He told me I was doing good, and afterwards I got my words of encouragement. He praised me and told me how much he loved us. Looking back I can't beleive I didn't cry more like I am now! Haha...

A few weeks later he was able to come home to meet his new little man. We spent as much time as we possibly could cuddeled up on our couch together, just the four of us, one happy lil family. I watched my husband stare at all three of us in a way I had never seen him stare those last few weeks we got to spend together. And God knows I stared at him. There's just something about knowing your not going to see someone for months at a time that really helps you to realize your love for that someone. We all fell even more madly in love those last few weeks then I ever could have imagined we'd fall.

Now he is far away and we still speak often, thankfully! Everytime we speak I am reminded of how madly in love we are. And every night I thank God for such a gosh darn freaking AMAZING love. I'm more content with life then I have ever been! Although my husband is far far away, I feel his love every minute of every hour. I still talk with him in the kitchen, laugh with him in bed, cuddle with him on the couch, watch him in a gun fight with Talon, and hold his baby Tres... Every night in my dreams he is there, we are together, it's like magic.

This year has been a life changing year. Everything is different! Me mostly, and it's a very positive change. My husband has helped me to learn more about life in the past year in a half then I've learned about it in that past 20. I'm so thankful for my husband! I honestly feel he is my angel in disguise. And of course he has his faults as all of us do. But, in our life together we've found where one of us is lacking the other makes up for it. As Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets-You make me wanna be a better man... & that's just what I tell my husband! He really does make me wanna be a better man! ;) In this year I'd have to say the very best lesson that I have learned, that I just recently realized is that you have to surround yourself with people that make you want to be the best you that you can be! My family definetly does that. And everyday (as my husband would say) "I win a small battle" I'm taking baby steps, and it feels great!
So, here's to the good, the bad, and to us! May we always live, learn, laugh, love and grow like there's no tomorrow!


This is going to be one looooong road... But, I couldn't imagine my travels without you.