Letters to you...

I sit here in the many comforts of this life and of our home I'm cozied up to your computer, our warmest blanket surrounds me, the sounds of Tres cooing himself to sleep and drops of rain patter on the ground. thoughts of you engulf my mind, and I can't help but wonder is it raining there? are you cold? Do you have enough blankets? Did you get a descent meal? And was it warm when you ate it? Did you get to shower today? I wonder have you slept in the last 24 hours? And have you seen things today that you're thankful your family doesn't have to? Are you feeling sane today my sweet love??? I miss you so and I'm always wondering, I'm always thinking, and I'm always praying.

I wonder if others ever wonder as I do. I think it's definitely one thing to be married to or a family member of someone in the military, and another thing to be a friend or someone looking in from the outside. Before I met my husband I really didn't think too much of our troops, I was blind and maybe a little ignorant when it came to the war. Once you are emotionally attached to a man OR women fighting in the war, your eyes are really opened. My eyes have been opened in ways I haven't really wanted them to be, but in other ways of course I am thankful... Sometimes I STILL find myself to be blind, and in someways ungrateful to everything the brave men and women of the military are doing for our country, I am caught off guard while being lazy, letting housework go, or just spending to much money on unnecessary objects, when thoughts such as "my husband could be putting his life on the line this very instant and I'm sitting back watching this lame show" as I open a soda, WHICH I might add he does not have the luxury of, BUT I am humbled daily by the greatest man I have ever known and each day I feel I grow more educated and a little wiser towards the war, my husband, and life in general...

This deployment has made me view life in ways I never really thought I would or even could. Every night I thank God for the beautiful life that he has blessed me with right after I ask him to watch closely over my husband... Kind of ironic that now at possibly the hardest point in my life, I feel more grateful, blessed, and content then I ever have. Really though, times are only real hard when I hear the distress in PJs voice. I try not to think too much about how horrible this must be for him. I feel I am definitely the lucky one out of the two of us in our present situation. But he is trying to stay positive, and most of our conversations consist of me workin to get a laugh out of him, and talk about how wonderful it all will be again, soon enough.


We're the lucky ones! I can't imagine having to go through this any longer then we are being punished too thus far... My fingers are crossed that we will never have to go through this again! BUT I would if I had to in a heartbeat! I'm so very thankful to my husband and all other forces out there working to make our world a better and safer one for all of us! Where would we all be without these brave men and women? From the very depths of my being I'm so VERY proud of my husband! I eek and ooze my proudness everyday! My husband loves what he does, and that's more then enough to make me so gosh darn proud of him... Did I mention I am extremely proud?!?


Late at night I imagine your arms around me, your body close to mine, your breath on my neck, and I can't help but smile... Some of the happiest moments of my life were just laying in bed with you all around me. It's those thoughts that make me feel closest to you my love.


and I can't help it, he's made me the sap I am today...