laugh so we (mostly I) don't cry.

I'm so so spoiled! Everything I ever wanted has always been within my reach! Now I can't buy lunch, diapers, or gas... Thank you God for testing me the way you have lately, but could you PLEASE give a dog a bone??? That's literally how I feel! and I'm totally a DOG because of it... I'm so selfish and I'd really like to kick my self for all the ungrateful moments I have throughout eachday and every test.


Good news: My heart has been recharged today. PJ got the job that we have been praying and hoping for every single day for the past month! Yup, he's the shizzz and I'm oh so totally proud!

I just read a post secret that said "My oldest daughter of four just started kindergarten. I stole all of her school supplies from the suburban safeway" I cried, no bawled for five minutes straight after reading that. I couldn't even see to finish reading the rest. Maybe she stole it for kicks?? But that's not what my flooded eyes were thinking! My heart was filled with anger, anger towards myself. I have taken so much for granted! I look around me, at all the comforts that fill our cozy lil home. I am more then lucky, I am so blessed! This past few days have helped me to realize how blessed I really am. I can't buy myself lunch or a coke and I want to cry? WTFreak is wrong with me? There are people living on the streets! Children without parents, shelter, food, or even blankets all over this world! So I cried and am now crying again because I am not nearly as grateful as I should be. I'm kicking myself for being so blind. I should wake and smile! Have you looked around you McKenna? Sheesh. self note #352: smile, it could always be worse! BUT, I've told myself those exact words a million times it seems.... I really think God wants us to hit our rock bottom so that we can be so much better!

I might sound like a mad women to you, going off like this and what not... Bare with me, whomever you are... Anyone? I am finding myself and learning about McKenna daily. I want to be better everyday. I want to be happy with myself and I want the universe to be happy with me. I need to be a good person, I need to forgive myself for my mistakes, and I always need to grow. And, I need to do something extra special with this life. I'm definetly not ready yet... And I have no idea what it's going to be... But I hope I'm growing towards that specialness. I'm definetly trying.

maybe I should rename this blog to: rambles of a crazy Mom. What do you think??? I like it!

In other news... I know EVERYONE is talking about it... BUT, how can you NOT? My favorite time of year is here!!! This is the part where I tell you all about my FAVORITE parts of AUTUMN and you humor me and pretend to care. Or really care! But you probably don't and are just really bored so now you are reading my rambles... go on, read on!

AUTUMN favorites, the crisp cool air in the mornings, the fact that Halloween is almost here, and then Thanksgiving, and then CHRISTMAS!!! the decorations!!! decorations!!!!!!, the smell, the taste of pumpkin ice cream (amazing!), sweaters, corn mazes, of course the haunted houses, costumes, lots of candy!, cream cheese frosting, cuddeling up to my hubs on the couch after a day of rainyness, and also making out in the rain-which we have yet to do and I can't wait!, being even more thankful then I try to be for the simple everyday things everyday, turkey! and ham!!!, falling beautiful autumn leaves, and drives to oak grove! (which we will be doing a lot of husband!), pumkin sented candles, spice cake, pumpkin sheet cake, my favorite tv shows, and GOOOOOOOOOD food! On top of all the yumminess I already mentioned... You know what I'm sayin... Thanksgiving FOOD (YUM!), Christmas FOOD (YUM!), comfort FOOD (YUMMY!)



I've been cookin up a lot of yummy comforting food as of late. I told my hubs I'd start blogging it (as if he really cares if I blog it or not) so that I could always have the yummy recipes. So, hopefully the food stuff will distract from my craziness.



peace hommies. (is that how you spell hommie? I would think homy would be easier and since it's slang easier is usually better, right? but homy just looks so wrong! kinda like horny and horny and homy just do not go well together...) yikes.



My husband bought me a 32oz dew before he left for work because I'm spoiled... so there's my excuse... I blame this blog on the dew.